One time I received an email forward from my grandma cautioning me to be careful around microwaves. Ever since then I have developed a small fear that someday whatever I'm heating in the microwave will explode as I pop open the door. I can literally visualize my body flayling across the kitchen as I am projected backwards and come to an abrupt stop rather awkwardly against the cupboards. The only remnants of my once microwave that provided me with countless meals in 5 minutes or less is a smoky shell of blownout plastic and metal.
Also- If I am ever diagnosed with cancer, I know it will be my fault for standing in front of my microwave while it's heating my food or beverage. Sometimes it's as if I can feel the cancer rays seeping into my skin through my face and my stomach core. I try to protect my woman pectoral muscles because i don't want to get boob cancer from my microwave.
Dear reader- you would do well to learn from these self-protective measures. Only you can prevent microwave explosions by standing to the side when popping open the microwave door. You could also cross your arms across your chest if you must stand in front of the operating microwave. Always protect your face- wear eyewear.
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