here we sit on the wall

PLEASE make all the TALK about politics STOP!!!! I can't take it anymore. I want to atrophy and go limp. I want to plug my ears and eyes (ouchie!) until it's over. I want the better man to win, but I look around and his chances seem bleak. I don't want to talk about judges, state reps or ANYTHING! I just want it all to go away, yet our nation is led blindly into d e s t r u c t i o n... the veil over the eyes of so many, like some sort of spiritually evil trance.

People who feel they should take a stand and make their point by voting neither Republican nor Democratic seem foolish.

Congratulations, you made your point- as our liberty is thrown out the back door all in the name of "change".

America, do you know what this "change" means...really? I don't think you do.

My skin tingles and my hair stands on end when I see him or hear his name. A feeling I am well-familiar with as it relates to my spiritual antenna. It is the Spirit reminding me to Stop! Listen! And be warned! This is evil masquerading as light. But the veil is blinding people... empty promises with no method for action. If he wins, my job and many other Spirit-led places of employment at stake.

Lord, I pray for mercy and grace. I pray for your power to overcome the darkness and the blinders. I rejoice in knowing YOU are my hope and strength in the midst of whatever happens. Thank you that my security does not rest in government. Help our blind eyes and hearts, Lord Jesus.

rejoice in His presence

Received this from a friend... a great reminder for all of us.

Rejoice in ME always! No matter what is going on, you can rejoice in your Love-relationship with Me. This is the secret of being content in all circumstances. So many people dream of the day when they will finally be happy: when they are out of debt, when their children are out of trouble, when they have more leisure time, and so on. While they daydream, their moments are trickling in the ground like precious balm spilling wastefully from overturned bottles.

Fantasizing about future happiness will never bring fulfillment, because fantasy is unreality. Even though I am invisible, I am far more Real than the world you see around you. My reality is eternal and unchanging. Bring your moments to Me, and I will fill them with vibrant Joy. Now is the time to rejoice in My Presence!

-Jesus Calling
By Sarah Young

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!”
Philippians 4:4-5 -The Message

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.” Philippians 4:12- NLT

“But you are always the same; you will live forever.” Psalm 102:27- NLT

chicken nuggets all in a row

I'm feeling very inspired and chatty today.

Because I've become super involved at my church (which is AWESOME, by the way) I have been meeting alot of people. Sometimes these people ask me if I'm involved with a Sunday School class. Which I'm not. I feel slightly guilty about this for some reasons:

1. I was ALWAYS in Sunday school growing up. It wasn't even an option to skip. (Except for sometimes Danny and I would because we'd get to church 30 minutes late, and it was really embarrassing to walk in a classroom when everyone is facing the door. So we'd both head to our respective gender bathrooms and wait for the last 15 minutes to tick down.)
2. I do want to be involved in a group and learn. It's not that I'm anti-social but here's my beef- WHY do I want to be lumped together with a group of peers who are all equally confused about this awkward transition part of life? WHY can't I go to an elderly people's class and learn with them?!
3. Why do all 20-something groups feel like a single's awareness class?! I just want to go and learn, but I can't because I walk in, and I feel like a piece of NeW single meat dangling in front of all the awkwardly single men...
4. PLUS- because I plan to move on in a year or so, I don't want to form new friendships that will just be getting started and then End. Abruptly.

I'm not trying to close off or protect my heart --> as some people have eluded to. I just want to be happy in the worship service surrounded by the teens I serve on Wednesday nights. I want to focus my passions and sluff off the other things.

As long as I'm here, I should say that I believe very strongly in community. I don't think church is suppose to be without it. Contrary to what our culture teaches, no man is an island. We need the body of believers to encourage, challenge, and call us out on things. I think it's okay to get that community support from my other friend groups.

So goodbye guilt. I still love Jesus. I just choose to be learning and growing outside of the Sunday school realm.

thumbalena skeleton

I woke up yesterday with a throbbing hand. I don't know why, but it has been in pain for the last 2 days and nights. Upon inspection, I am undecided as to whether it is swollen or just my thick hand. Well, actually, I KNOW it's my thick hand...but is it thicker than usual?! That remains the question. Some of my loyal readers (all 2 of you) are probably scratching your heads in confusion. In case your mom never told you, there is a natural thing that makes one side of our bodies disproportionate to the other. You thought it was just you, didn't you? Rest assuredly, we all have it. You're not a freak of nature or atypical nor are you half human/half alien. As to the reason why, ask a doctor. That's not my expertise.

This morning, I have decided to tape my thumb to press against my hand. In the words of my mother, "I think it just needs a good rest."

I knew my one handed typing, over extended double jointedness, incorrect pen holding would catch up to my thumb someday. That day has arrived.

assumptions burn

Lately I have encountered a frustration with my age. Since I've turned 24, I feel older than ever but slightly "weirded out" by the fact that I have memories so clear from years past. I remember the intense sense of injustice I felt at different times throughout high school when blame was passed to us regarding the attitudes we were communicating to the younger people. I remember feeling the burning anger toward teachers who were grading unfairly, but the flood of relief through my Tae Bo outlet. Then there's the time I got suspended from school for 3 days in 8th grade and after my dad's short story of his own downfall, I realized the gut wrenching guilt of the sin I was capable of committing. The long summer days spent outside inventing things or forming clubs or going to the secret treehouse or daily trips to the library for books and stickers. These are crystal clear memories 18 years later.

It is insulting to feel small and insignificant and judged by another person simply because I've only been out of college for 2 years and made the choice to not get married. This also is a feeling I identify way too well with because it's the way I felt judged numerous times by church people. Something I had to endure because I was a minor and not old enough to find my own church. Looking back, I've forgiven these people for their insensitive comments, looks, or talk behind-my-back... but I can't forget how it felt. So don't coat your comments about my inexperience in a "oh, she's so cute" way because that stings. I'm not some inexperienced, innocent twit. I've been employed in some form for nearly 10 years of my life!

Life experiences of joy and pain aside, here's my jobs resume:

Gift shop/ Piano lesson receptionist

Camp staff (accomodations, snack & gift shop store, boat house, dish crew, air rifles assistant)

AVEDA salon receptionist

bed & breakfast cleaning person

elderly care

Target (cashier, guest services, operator, food ave, sales floor)

catering server (setup, serve-it-up, tear down)

Caribou Coffee

house cleaning

youth group leader

I would thank you to not see me as young, but to see me as a real person with a real life story.