assumptions burn

Lately I have encountered a frustration with my age. Since I've turned 24, I feel older than ever but slightly "weirded out" by the fact that I have memories so clear from years past. I remember the intense sense of injustice I felt at different times throughout high school when blame was passed to us regarding the attitudes we were communicating to the younger people. I remember feeling the burning anger toward teachers who were grading unfairly, but the flood of relief through my Tae Bo outlet. Then there's the time I got suspended from school for 3 days in 8th grade and after my dad's short story of his own downfall, I realized the gut wrenching guilt of the sin I was capable of committing. The long summer days spent outside inventing things or forming clubs or going to the secret treehouse or daily trips to the library for books and stickers. These are crystal clear memories 18 years later.

It is insulting to feel small and insignificant and judged by another person simply because I've only been out of college for 2 years and made the choice to not get married. This also is a feeling I identify way too well with because it's the way I felt judged numerous times by church people. Something I had to endure because I was a minor and not old enough to find my own church. Looking back, I've forgiven these people for their insensitive comments, looks, or talk behind-my-back... but I can't forget how it felt. So don't coat your comments about my inexperience in a "oh, she's so cute" way because that stings. I'm not some inexperienced, innocent twit. I've been employed in some form for nearly 10 years of my life!

Life experiences of joy and pain aside, here's my jobs resume:

Gift shop/ Piano lesson receptionist

Camp staff (accomodations, snack & gift shop store, boat house, dish crew, air rifles assistant)

AVEDA salon receptionist

bed & breakfast cleaning person

elderly care

Target (cashier, guest services, operator, food ave, sales floor)

catering server (setup, serve-it-up, tear down)

Caribou Coffee

house cleaning

youth group leader

I would thank you to not see me as young, but to see me as a real person with a real life story.