zest for life

It is a rainy day here. I don't mind very much. I only wish I could see the raindrops falling outside the window from the seated position at my desk. The local Christian radio station has already played 'Grace Like Rain' about 5 times. It gets a little obnoxious.



I remember the very first time I heard this word- "obnoxious". It was from my sister and it was directed quite harshly in my direction to describe me. My sister and I weren't very good friends until she went off to college and left me with my own room. Peace Treaty, I guess.



Speaking of personalities, I took a quiz online to see what the strong characteristics of my personality were. (Sometimes it seems like these quizzes are permissible ways to get your fortune or something) At the end, it described me as 'euphoric'. Your theatrical language makes everything sound a bazillion times more exciting than it really is! I actually agree with this statement. I do attempt to spice up my life with fancy words and exhilarating experiences. It also had a picture of a hippie girl dancing under a rainbow. Sometimes I think I would have been a Jesus loving hippie if I was alive at that time. Free love and peace to all- as skittles fall down from the rainbow.

they call it standing alone for a reason

one step forward

two steps back;

straining for what is ahead

but pulled back by the weight of care.

uncertainty

tired of being the only one.

i cry out

seemingly hopeless.

pushing to believe

in the impossible

when will the battle end?

hating humanity's curse

desiring holiness

when will it end?

my little companion

muffin chips

have you ever wondered what i do?

Have you ever had one of those mornings when it was impossible to keep your eyes open? That was me today. Soooo tired. It has been very busy at work consistently every day, all week. This is good because it shows that people are hearing about us and coming in for our services, but it also can be exhausting.

There have been such exciting days around here! Many young couples have been in for prego tests and God has been working in the hearts of both the girls and guys! Also- there have been a few parenting clients who have recommited their lives to the Lord and it's so encouraging to be connected with a ministry that helps walk them through the good days and the hard days. In the midst of all the client contact, the volunteers we have been praying for are coming forward and getting trained. This is a blessing to me in particular since I end up doing a majority of the parenting sessions every week. Volunteers will help with the load. The material donations have been pouring in, and we have been able to turn around and bless many people with those things! Other duties include checking things off the timeline in preparation for The Walk For Life coming up in May.

While all of this is great, it has been particularly draining on me to leave work and have people continue to draw from my wellspring. It started turning into a not-so-well wellspring. Wednesday after work, I felt like I was going to snap. And so, my boss suggested I take the night off of youth group. I decided this would be the best thing for my sanity, since the thought of one teenager whining to me about a test made me want to scream and run out of the room pulling my hair out like a crazy person. Probably not in the healthiest mindset to try and lead a group of 11th and 12th grade girls through a Bible study.

My Wednesday night actually ended up being super restful! On the way home, I stopped to pick up a movie, coffee from Caribou, and a quick session at the tanning place. Once I was home, I grabbed my rollerblades and headed to the park with my ghetto cd walkman. Within the first 30 seconds of the worship song, my walkman died and, though I was disappointed, decided it was better to pray about life anyway. When I got back to the house, I took most of the evening to center myself- reading and journaling and reading some more. By 8:30pm my spirit was feeling replenished, so I popped in Dan In Real Life and chillaxed on the couch. Cell phone off. Very nice.

While I'm charging through this day with the Lord's strength, I will be very happy to take my sleep-in day tomorrow.

futurerama

To Whom It May Concern:

We are living in the future. I don't know if anyone bothered to tell you... but we are. I always thought the future would look a little different...like in Back to the Future 1-3. Hover crafts, freeways in the sky, funky sunglasses and shiny clothes.

The future actually is hybrid cars, personal jets to get from your home in Texas to your job in Washington state, meals in 3 minutes or less, coffee for sale everywhere you turn, and the revolution of digital. (All tv's need to be ready to go digital by February 2009...what a silly thing to mandate of the population. And yet, I fear, peer pressure will win out in the end.)

But what does religion and Christianity look like in the future? I hope it's becoming more revolutionary. More willingness to sacrifice everything for the sake of Christ and less of the complacent attitude. I think there's more of an emerging distinction between the genuine Christians and the cultural Christians (the ones who pick up Christianity like it's another cool designer brand to wear on occasion.) Put some heart behind it! Show me your weakness, be honest with where you're at, and don't try to carry on the facade that your life is a bowl of peaches. Because you know what?! Christianity is HARD. It's blood, sweat, and tears and being completely broken. It's joy and love unexplainably overflowing when you know there's nothing left to give from yourself. It's the Holy Spirit steering your course. It's not fluff.

So ask yourself, what does my future Christianity actually look like? And remember, Actions speak louder than words.

tia es loco

My niece Liala is officially out of her boring stage... she smiles all the time now! What a little peach! It's so adorable to see how she depends on her big brother to know how to act in any situation. Also- it works to my advantage because my nephew and I are soo close & we have so much fun together...it's a guaranteed future love affair between Liala and I.

Jotham is the most amazing little boy! His creativity and personality are contagious. So easy-going and goofy...I wonder what he will grow up to be?! I have taken personal responsibility to always be the fun auntie. Maybe I will go skydiving with him someday, or take him to the South American rainforest for his spring break to ride the zip line.

living vs. thriving

To be truly ALIVE in Christ is exactly what He had in mind for us when he made us out of dust...and a rib bone. We are image bearers. We are created to be so much more than merely existing! We are created with the capacity to overflow with love, goodness, joy, & worship. We are meant to be an explosion of all that is good and right and pure and lovely!

How many times have I turned my back to this because I'm too tired or busy or confused- with full knowledge that walking with my Lord invites comfort and peace and trust that I cannot achieve on my own. Stupid self-sufficiency...always anxious to rear its ugly head and take over.

Be encouraged today that God is faithful to remind us of seasons of joy throughout our lives! It will consistently bless us yet humble us... forcing us to acknowledge our humanity.