Thursday, June 5, 2008

senior discount dollar days

Two short stories.

Story 1-

I was a wedding guest at a beautiful, yet simple ceremony for Miss Sara Wood and Mr Aaron Bosley. As I arrived, I was greeted by happy faces and old friends. Anxious to catch up on life, I began chatting with Caitlin. At that moment, an older lady rollls up in her plush new ride (aka- her wheelchair) and startles us with her abrupt, gruffy voice reminiscient of such animated characters as Roz on Monsters Inc, or certain guidance counselor's named Miss Campbell.
Lady: "Hey, do you girls have chapstick? I really need some."
Me and Caitlin: "Uhh...no, I'm really sorry we don't have any."
Lady: "Are you sure? Because I'd pay you a dollar if I could use some of your chapstick."
Us: "No, sorry, we don't have any."
Lady: "Oh, okay. I guess I'll go ask someone else."--> rolls off

*later*
Me: "Hey Caitlin, you wanna know something? I really do have chapstick, but I wasn't gonna let some stranger who may have mouth herpes use mine."

Story 2-

As I stepped out of my house one warm June morning clutching my coffee mug, I quickly noticed the old neighbor lady tending to her lawn. On second glance, I realized she was cutting her lawn... with a weed wacker.There she was walking back & forth, here then there- chop, chop, choppin' her dandelions away. Dandelion hater.

2 comments:

emili said...

quality of your stories: water, out my nose.

that's pretty awesome

Unknown said...

are you referring to the lady that goes to my dad's church named christine? well, whether or not you were, i still almost tinkled my pants....