Wednesday, December 17, 2008

season 4- the coldest one

Winter bliss and Winter groans
1. You know after you drive through a snowstorm and that large chunk of ice, snow & salt builds up behind your tires. That’s my favorite. I was talking about it with my house mother the other day and sheepishly admitted I really look forward to kicking that stuff off. Then we both realized we don’t have to be shy about it because that’s one of her favorite things too! It was like somebody deflated the embarrassment in the room, and our stories came tumbling out like volcanic lava on steroids.
Of course the do’s and don’ts of this practice are worth paying attention to:
- DO kick it as often as you like.
- DO drive a few extra miles to get a bigger chunk.
- DON’T do it in your driveway. (As you will be forced to shovel it later.)
- DO kick in a large public parking lot that pays for plow service.
- DON’T kick it off a stranger’s car in the mall parking lot. (As tempting as the growing chunk may be)
- DO enjoy the feeling of sheer joy that sweeps through your spirit upon completion.
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2. I have a small phobia of those shocks that sweep through the fingertips. All the static electricity in the air throughout the winter can be an annoyance. I remember specifically going to a static electricity performance/show at the Science Museum on a field trip one winter. Not even joking- I had the most intense shocks for a whole year from anything that carried the smallest charge. I use to stand outside my car staring at the handle & using the power of self-talk to prepare to touch the handle and receive the inevitable shock. Perhaps that was the same year I went through 3 watches, my theory is that I carried a highly charged electromagnetic field that killed watches. Maybe the Science Museum partnered with watch makers worldwide. Quite the little conspiracy.
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3. My boss at work says road salt doesn’t work on the roads when it’s super frigid outside. The chemical reaction doesn’t work between salt and ice. I’m not sure I believe her. If road salt doesn’t work, then my confidence in Minnesota winter driving (where it’s ALWAYS frigid November through March) is severely shaken. Better research this little tip. I also have heard some counties mix beet juice within the sandy mixture “clean water people” promote in their communities. I think that might be true. It seems like the beets should catch a break somewhere since they’re good for nothing else.
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4. Lastly, my Christmas Wish came early this year. I received a little dog named Turbie at my work white elephant gift exchange. (An unfit category to put this little ceramic canine under because he’s worth far more than rubies in my heart.)
P.S. Does anyone else find it super morbid that FUNERAL HOMES give out calendars at the top of the New Year? Like- just in case you DIE this year- your loved ones left behind will have our number at the bottom of your calendar, so they can just give us a call to transport your body.

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