Monday, June 15, 2009

heavy metal screaming encore

ARRRRRRgh. Smeesh. Blah.

I have not been in the highest of spirits lately. So many thoughts buzzing in my brain. So many things to do. Worry begins to creep in, and I realize I'm doubting God's timeframe.

I just want to get out. I wanna be done and move on with my life. I wanna kiss it all goodbye and not have to deal with stupid "politics". Run--> my natural response to unpleasantness.

This is transition time for me- in so many different areas. A general sense of uneasiness, impatience, and bad attitude pervade my days. I don't like it very much. In fact, I try to pray it all away- but it doesn't work all the time. I feel like such a downer. Then I just want to isolate myself and protect everyone around me from "catching" my mopiness. (Is that even a word? It is today, i guess) Panic tries to creep in as unending, undetermined future spans beyond the horizon.

I have a headache.

*sigh*

stupid adulthood. i curse the day you arrived.
A poem:
wild and free i use to be
coffee and friends abound;
now i'm alone with no one at home
and question marks speckle the room.
The End
(I never said it was good)

1 comment:

emili said...

awww, my melly-poo!

i, quite honestly, feel your pain. recently, i wish i could keep certain pieces of my adulthood, yet escape back to the simplicity of childhood. alas. that is the great irony of life.

but... but, but. there is loveliness in this life, despite the overwhelming feelings of doubt and unrest and responsibility. it is found in friends and coffee. and God, of course.

get your booty over here, so we can partake in these things together :)

i love you!