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My spirit is tired.
Trust issues resurfacing. My heart & mind curious to know if this battle for transparency at the risk of rejection or betrayal is worth the fight.
I'm tired of fighting. I don't want to be the strong one right now.
I don't want people to ask how I am. The answer is only worth an honest response.
I'm tired of sharing.
I don't trust.
The pattern emerges (circular reasoning), and it is stuck in my head.
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Can I run and hide?
Avoidance is key. Or is it?
Can I pretend like life is great?
Yes, for a while. But it's wearing. An actress can only be under the hot stage lights for so long without retreating for a cold sip of water.
Who and where is my cold sip of water?
Very few choose to REALLY walk beside me. Very few care to listen. Very few show up when they are needed the most.
I'm tired.
Emotions are all over the place.
Shock, Overwhelmed, Anger, Strength, Exhaustion, Repeat
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Come and sit beside me. Don't make me talk and share. Just be with me. Hold me. Distract my reeling thoughts. Provide reprieve.
I'm so very tired.
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2 comments:
deep, emotional, well-written poem, mel - although, I feel like we need to have one of those good ol' BFF talks :)
Thanks for sharing dear Mel ... anytime you need to sit, hold and be held, just let me know...
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